Again, time is getting away from me and two weeks have passed since last post. So here's a small one to remedy the lack of communications and then I'll write a bigger one tomorrow.
Here's a handy guide for people on the correct and proper usage of a toilet brush. A toilet brush is not a bathroom accessory that just sits in the corner gathering dust, it is a functional bit of kit, particularly useful for cleaning toilets. Once you are finished on the toilet, particularly after defecating, the correct way to deploy the toilet brush for cleaning is this: pick up the brush with one hand, with your free hand apply pressure to the button/lever that flushes your toilet. Once water is flowing down into the toilet wait for a few seconds until the solids and the toilet paper have gone from sight, then quickly utilise the brush. To do this you submerge the brush into the water and scrub with vigour around the toilet bowl. If you do this your end result will be a shiny, clean toilet that is free from any faecal matter. This is not only pleasant for yourself but also for others that may well use the toilet after you. IT IS ESPECIALLY PLEASANT FOR THE CHALET GIRL THAT HAS TO CLEAN YOUR GOD-DAMNED TOILET!!!
Thank you for reading this handy guide on the correct usage of toilet brushes.
Hasta luego amigos!
Monday, 30 January 2012
Sunday, 15 January 2012
Kaleidoscope diamonds
I was cleaning my kitchen the other day as the sun was streaming in the windows. Outside there was a beautiful snowy landscape, fresh mountain air, the sound of birdsong and all around my kitchen danced little dazzling spots of light. No, it wasn't because I was drunk or high off the D2-D10 industrial cleaning chemicals, they were little refractions of sunlight from my diamond earrings. TD bought me those earrings once for my birthday, I still remember it vividly, the look on his face as he presented the box to me. I thought I lost one once, in the shower, it was terrible but of course I found it. He used to think they didn't sparkle enough. Maybe he should've got me the ultra sparkly ones (read expensive) from Tiffany that he boldly asked the shop assistant to show him, with no intention of buying them, he couldn't bear to have walked in and then straight back out because the prices frightened the living shit out of him, so he asked to see a few different kinds then told the helpful assistant he'd think about it and come back. I think my diamonds sparkle just fine, especially in the alpine sun in my chalet kitchen. The little light spots put a smile on my face, made me recall a happy memory and so I wiggled my head around and made them dance all over the place.
I'm flying solo, just like I wanted, but it's hard work I tell you. The team are dropping like flies. RSC did his ACL while skiing, only his fourth time out, no more for the rest of the season. KJ had a drunken run in with a parked car that necessitated an MRI of her head. My roomie got a chest infection and was carted off to hospital (Hopitaux Leman, made me think of RL) two transfer days ago. KB broke her shoulder on a jump in the park (hence why I'm flying solo, cos Milly has had to go run KB's chalet). BW got a shiner the other night, in the hot tub... don't ask! As for me, my thumb tendons have started playing up again and I've had pins and needles in most of the fingers on my left hand for the last two-three weeks. The guests last week, all doctors, thought it was most likely Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Super. Just what I need. I haven't quite decided what to do about it yet. It's either the ostrich approach and hope for some sort of overnight, miracle recovery or I have to man up and go to the doctor. It's bloody annoying this pins and needles, luckily I'm so busy for most of my waking day that I don't notice it. I especially don't notice it when I'm out riding.
I was thinking about something the other day. How funny it is that when something doesn't go quite according to plan, how we revert to what we had before, or try to in any case. Even though what we had before wasn't actually what we wanted. How odd it is that we find comfort in something familiar even though at one point we decided that we didn't want that and that it was no longer comforting. Weird eh?
Anyway, I realise that my blogging has become more sporadic and I will try to remedy that. I promise. Now that I am flying solo I'm finding that time, especially time off, is a rare thing indeed. I've not been riding since Thursday (yes I know it's only Sunday but in the life of a seasonnaire that's actually a REALLY long time to not have been on the mountain). I will get quicker, I will get more efficient, I will get more sleep so that I can put into effect the first two points raised and once they have been actioned I will be able to go ahead and get more riding done.
New guests today. Got a good tip from the ones that left this morning, really good! I love good tippers. I also love them when they leave behind a full bottle of Gordon's gin, half a bottle of Tanqueray, quarter bottle of Glenlivet and they've been included you in their nightly Taittinger drinking. They were a lovely bunch, reminded me of TD's parents and their friends actually. Funnily enough, the new guests are all doctors again bar two of the party. I had a feeling they'd be young and I was right, they're my age. Seem good fun. Should be a good week!
There's more reasons why this should be a good week. On Tuesday we've got a staff outing. Meaning that most of us have bought tickets to see Krafty Kuts at Opera and guess what? It's day off on Wednesday. Boom! So I think we might tuck into some of the left behind spirits to get us in good spirits! See what I did there, oh I'm funny! Last week's day off was epic, hour long hot stone massage for 30 Euro and then an impromptu drinking session at Tremplin with some awesome drum and bass tunes played by djs, followed by pizza at Mamas. That's not all though, there's more reasons why THIS week is going to be a good week. Three very dear friends of mine are coming to town on Saturday!!!!!!!!!! YAY! I'm so stoked to see them and ride with them and take them out and ... and... and .. SO much stuff!! Oh I am beyond excited to see them!
So now that I've got myself all riled up thinking about that I'm going to go to bed. It's half past midnight and I'm sitting in the stairwell (the internet signal doesn't quite reach my room) and I'm thinking that 6 hours sleep is not going to be enough. But that's all I'm going to get. Soon I will be saying good morning over the heavily laden breakfast table and offering them eggs, and no doubt I shall be scrambling, frying, poaching and omeletting all at the same time. Because that's how it works, why all settle for the same kind of egg when you can really stress the chalet girl by asking for them in a million different ways. Hmmm, when you think about it, an egg is a very versatile food. Thank you chickens for your clever invention.
It's obviously bed time....
I'm flying solo, just like I wanted, but it's hard work I tell you. The team are dropping like flies. RSC did his ACL while skiing, only his fourth time out, no more for the rest of the season. KJ had a drunken run in with a parked car that necessitated an MRI of her head. My roomie got a chest infection and was carted off to hospital (Hopitaux Leman, made me think of RL) two transfer days ago. KB broke her shoulder on a jump in the park (hence why I'm flying solo, cos Milly has had to go run KB's chalet). BW got a shiner the other night, in the hot tub... don't ask! As for me, my thumb tendons have started playing up again and I've had pins and needles in most of the fingers on my left hand for the last two-three weeks. The guests last week, all doctors, thought it was most likely Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Super. Just what I need. I haven't quite decided what to do about it yet. It's either the ostrich approach and hope for some sort of overnight, miracle recovery or I have to man up and go to the doctor. It's bloody annoying this pins and needles, luckily I'm so busy for most of my waking day that I don't notice it. I especially don't notice it when I'm out riding.
I was thinking about something the other day. How funny it is that when something doesn't go quite according to plan, how we revert to what we had before, or try to in any case. Even though what we had before wasn't actually what we wanted. How odd it is that we find comfort in something familiar even though at one point we decided that we didn't want that and that it was no longer comforting. Weird eh?
Anyway, I realise that my blogging has become more sporadic and I will try to remedy that. I promise. Now that I am flying solo I'm finding that time, especially time off, is a rare thing indeed. I've not been riding since Thursday (yes I know it's only Sunday but in the life of a seasonnaire that's actually a REALLY long time to not have been on the mountain). I will get quicker, I will get more efficient, I will get more sleep so that I can put into effect the first two points raised and once they have been actioned I will be able to go ahead and get more riding done.
New guests today. Got a good tip from the ones that left this morning, really good! I love good tippers. I also love them when they leave behind a full bottle of Gordon's gin, half a bottle of Tanqueray, quarter bottle of Glenlivet and they've been included you in their nightly Taittinger drinking. They were a lovely bunch, reminded me of TD's parents and their friends actually. Funnily enough, the new guests are all doctors again bar two of the party. I had a feeling they'd be young and I was right, they're my age. Seem good fun. Should be a good week!
There's more reasons why this should be a good week. On Tuesday we've got a staff outing. Meaning that most of us have bought tickets to see Krafty Kuts at Opera and guess what? It's day off on Wednesday. Boom! So I think we might tuck into some of the left behind spirits to get us in good spirits! See what I did there, oh I'm funny! Last week's day off was epic, hour long hot stone massage for 30 Euro and then an impromptu drinking session at Tremplin with some awesome drum and bass tunes played by djs, followed by pizza at Mamas. That's not all though, there's more reasons why THIS week is going to be a good week. Three very dear friends of mine are coming to town on Saturday!!!!!!!!!! YAY! I'm so stoked to see them and ride with them and take them out and ... and... and .. SO much stuff!! Oh I am beyond excited to see them!
So now that I've got myself all riled up thinking about that I'm going to go to bed. It's half past midnight and I'm sitting in the stairwell (the internet signal doesn't quite reach my room) and I'm thinking that 6 hours sleep is not going to be enough. But that's all I'm going to get. Soon I will be saying good morning over the heavily laden breakfast table and offering them eggs, and no doubt I shall be scrambling, frying, poaching and omeletting all at the same time. Because that's how it works, why all settle for the same kind of egg when you can really stress the chalet girl by asking for them in a million different ways. Hmmm, when you think about it, an egg is a very versatile food. Thank you chickens for your clever invention.
It's obviously bed time....
Thursday, 5 January 2012
Gap yah, New yah.
New Years Eve, with new friends, was spent in a little bar off the beaten Morzine track. This normally chilled out place where we go to have a few demis after work was transformed into a packed tot he rafters, banging, sweating, drunken drum and bass club for the occasion. It was awesome. Saw a lot of seasonnaires in there and mixed in were a few holiday makers that had wandered away from the usual night spots (that were all charging 10-20 Euro entry fee). It was a pretty damn good night!
From new friends to old friends. I had the pleasure of a visit from my dear friend NG. We've been friends since we were 9-10, from school in Spain. It was so brilliant to see her and her boyf (hasn't he done well for himself to have bagged a girl like her!). They stayed at an awesome place that seems like it's stuck in 1974, I'm going to suggest it to other visitors. Le Laurys it's called and it comes complete with wagon wheels festooned in coloured lights, I mean, what more could you want?!
Today I went riding with my Aussie friend Fi. It was cool as. Great snow up top. My board needs a wax though, desperately. Guess I could spring for a tune up with last week's tip money, which FYI was pretty good.
The snow happiness was cut short though when I got home. I discovered I had not received a meat delivery for the evening meal. I didn't get it until ten past seven. Dinner is served at eight. Challenge accepted and challenge won!
Bed now, we have a bonus night off tomorrow, still have to do kid's dinner but not adults. So I'm thinking, breakfast service, riding, apres, kid's dinner, more apres.
From new friends to old friends. I had the pleasure of a visit from my dear friend NG. We've been friends since we were 9-10, from school in Spain. It was so brilliant to see her and her boyf (hasn't he done well for himself to have bagged a girl like her!). They stayed at an awesome place that seems like it's stuck in 1974, I'm going to suggest it to other visitors. Le Laurys it's called and it comes complete with wagon wheels festooned in coloured lights, I mean, what more could you want?!
Today I went riding with my Aussie friend Fi. It was cool as. Great snow up top. My board needs a wax though, desperately. Guess I could spring for a tune up with last week's tip money, which FYI was pretty good.
The snow happiness was cut short though when I got home. I discovered I had not received a meat delivery for the evening meal. I didn't get it until ten past seven. Dinner is served at eight. Challenge accepted and challenge won!
Bed now, we have a bonus night off tomorrow, still have to do kid's dinner but not adults. So I'm thinking, breakfast service, riding, apres, kid's dinner, more apres.
Tuesday, 3 January 2012
you could end up with a bunch of care bears or Hitlers...
I work with a guy that I like to call Millhouse. He's a space cadet at the best of times. Today, as we were walking to the office to greet our new guests he said "you could end up with a bunch of carebears or Hitlers...". How very true.
Friday, 30 December 2011
Yours truly
I wrote something. It got put in an on-line mag. I'm sort of happy and horrified. Eek! :) http://www.whitenoizemag.co.uk/
Thursday, 29 December 2011
Bus stop bullshit
I was standing at the bottom of the Prodains lift, waiting for the bus back into Morzine after a morning of riding over to Avoriaz, eating far too much at Changabangs and deciding to head home for a pre dinner service snooze. Standing in the bus queue with me were the usual assortment of people you would expect to find in a ski resort, tourists, natives (for want of a better word, I'm not being judgemental about the French or anything) and seasonnaires. The seasonnaires can be split into subspecies, some of which would be those that work and those that bum around. I imagine that the species of seasonnaire standing in front of me in the queue was of the bum variety and I make this assumption based on the bull doo-doo he was spouting. It was the kind of stuff that makes me cringe when I hear it, the kind of 'break free from the chains of society' nonsense that some people use to justify their chosen way of life. "Yeah, I didn't want to be a part of the system you know, I didn't want to be fed into the suburban slave classes who are like, totally enslaved you know, like, incarceration by aspiration, you know what I mean...", this and more priceless pearls of wisdom were being bestowed on a pretty girl he was talking to. I don't know how she felt about it or him, but I was thinking "Geez, this guy is full of shit!". If you don't want to conform to the 9-5, get a job, get married, suburban, raise a family lifestyle then fair enough. There are many people that don't want to conform to that, but don't feel the need to talk bullshit to justify their life choices. Different strokes for different folks. Sorry, rant over, it just annoys me when people think they're so damn unique for breaking free and so on, like they're the first person to ever have done so, or think they're the first generation to ever have done so. I'm all for travelling, expanding horizons, not settling for a hum drum existence but you don't have to be a cock about it. Bla, bla, bla, I'll get off my soap box now but I bet in the summer he goes to Thailand to "find himself".
Time, it seems to be literally vanishing! The first guests came and went and so did Christmas. I did get a lovely beanie hat, fleece lined with a giant bobble on it from them, for a Christmas gift, very sweet!! We have our second lot of guests now and it takes a moment for your brain to adjust to new people in the chalet. It's going to be a weird thing for the next 18 weeks, to have a totally new set of people every week. I didn't imagine it would be this odd, but just as you get used to one lot they disappear and others appear. They appear far too quickly too! I'm talking of course of the nightmare that is transfer day. Get them up, fed and watered, make sure their bags are packed, walk them to the bus for 9AM. Hugs and kisses and heartfelt goodbyes and waving until the bus is out of sight then frantic cleaning/cooking/tidying/organising/bed making/jacuzzi draining etc.etc.etc. This goes on until 2PM when the dreaded phone call comes "the bus is in Taninge, time to come to the office". This is when you look at yourself in the mirror and think you've seen better looking piles of dog sick but you have no time to do anything about it, slap on your clean uniform and race to the bus to greet the new lot, with a HUGE smile on your face which hides the utter panic that is occurring inside because you've just remembered that really important thing you forgot to do before leaving the chalet. Get them to the chalet in one piece, stop them wandering off into town (like herding cats at times) then the week starts again as they sit down to a big pile of freshly baked brownies and listen to your welcome speech. Repeat 18 more times and the season is over. Time, it's being robbed from me, I swear.
New Years Eve tomorrow. Time for reflection, thinking about the year past and the year to come, family and friends present and absent, new friends and old friends... when to book that ticket to Thailand to find myself.... Ha! See what I did there? Anyway, it is New Years Eve and no doubt I shall be reflecting, what a crazy time I've had lately. A relationship over, the end of an era with Blanca dog, moving home, moving life, moving boxes and yet more moving, a new qualification, a new direction, a new country, a new snowboard. 2011, I had big hopes for you as a year and you've certainly been an eventful year!! That much is definitely true. So where will you be when the clock strikes and 2012 is ushered in? Who will you be with? What hopes will you have for the new year? I will most likely be at a seasonnaire house party, in the staff accommodation affectionately known as Basra. A dear old friend of mine is coming to Morzine, we've been friends since we were 10-11, so I'll have the old and the new, which is great! We'll be eating left overs from all the chalet dinners we'll have cooked and be supping on opened wines our guests didn't drink throughout the week, we'll be super stoked to be in the marvellous mountains and we'll be thoroughly hammered by the time the clock strikes midnight. My only hope for the year (apart from peace on Earth, which I wish for all the time but it never seems to happen) is that it keeps snowing and that I get to ride some awesome powder, other than that, I'll leave 2012 to do what it will with me, no big list of resolutions, let's just see what happens. If I don't get to say it to you personally at the moment the new year comes in, have a fantastic New Years and may 2012 be good to you and yours!
Time, it seems to be literally vanishing! The first guests came and went and so did Christmas. I did get a lovely beanie hat, fleece lined with a giant bobble on it from them, for a Christmas gift, very sweet!! We have our second lot of guests now and it takes a moment for your brain to adjust to new people in the chalet. It's going to be a weird thing for the next 18 weeks, to have a totally new set of people every week. I didn't imagine it would be this odd, but just as you get used to one lot they disappear and others appear. They appear far too quickly too! I'm talking of course of the nightmare that is transfer day. Get them up, fed and watered, make sure their bags are packed, walk them to the bus for 9AM. Hugs and kisses and heartfelt goodbyes and waving until the bus is out of sight then frantic cleaning/cooking/tidying/organising/bed making/jacuzzi draining etc.etc.etc. This goes on until 2PM when the dreaded phone call comes "the bus is in Taninge, time to come to the office". This is when you look at yourself in the mirror and think you've seen better looking piles of dog sick but you have no time to do anything about it, slap on your clean uniform and race to the bus to greet the new lot, with a HUGE smile on your face which hides the utter panic that is occurring inside because you've just remembered that really important thing you forgot to do before leaving the chalet. Get them to the chalet in one piece, stop them wandering off into town (like herding cats at times) then the week starts again as they sit down to a big pile of freshly baked brownies and listen to your welcome speech. Repeat 18 more times and the season is over. Time, it's being robbed from me, I swear.
New Years Eve tomorrow. Time for reflection, thinking about the year past and the year to come, family and friends present and absent, new friends and old friends... when to book that ticket to Thailand to find myself.... Ha! See what I did there? Anyway, it is New Years Eve and no doubt I shall be reflecting, what a crazy time I've had lately. A relationship over, the end of an era with Blanca dog, moving home, moving life, moving boxes and yet more moving, a new qualification, a new direction, a new country, a new snowboard. 2011, I had big hopes for you as a year and you've certainly been an eventful year!! That much is definitely true. So where will you be when the clock strikes and 2012 is ushered in? Who will you be with? What hopes will you have for the new year? I will most likely be at a seasonnaire house party, in the staff accommodation affectionately known as Basra. A dear old friend of mine is coming to Morzine, we've been friends since we were 10-11, so I'll have the old and the new, which is great! We'll be eating left overs from all the chalet dinners we'll have cooked and be supping on opened wines our guests didn't drink throughout the week, we'll be super stoked to be in the marvellous mountains and we'll be thoroughly hammered by the time the clock strikes midnight. My only hope for the year (apart from peace on Earth, which I wish for all the time but it never seems to happen) is that it keeps snowing and that I get to ride some awesome powder, other than that, I'll leave 2012 to do what it will with me, no big list of resolutions, let's just see what happens. If I don't get to say it to you personally at the moment the new year comes in, have a fantastic New Years and may 2012 be good to you and yours!
Wednesday, 21 December 2011
Your hair smells of... shampoo.
The first guests have arrived and I could not have asked for a nicer bunch. They are a lovely family and are making my job nice and easy by being so laid back and relaxed. Still worried about Christmas day though, just because there's such high expectations put on the day, I'm not just talking about guests, it's anyone really. We all tend to build it up and then are usually ultimately disappointed that it wasn't that perfect image we had in our heads. That makes me sound like I don't like Christmas which isn't the case at all and anyone that knows me well will tell you that I LOVE Christmas! Anyway, Christmas is soon, the chalet is looking cosy, the snow is falling like crazy, the guests are nice and every so often I can hear a little person ask a big person "how many sleeps is it till Christmas?". Aaaaww, how sweet.
It's not all super easy though, it's bloody hard work chalet hosting. I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I don't think I was prepared for how exhausted you get after service. It just drains you and the thing is, when you're exhausted and thinking you could sleep for an age, the realisation comes that this is your life for the next five months. Then you get a text from someone in another chalet making mountain/beer plans for later and suddenly you remember how amazingly awesome it is that this is your life for the next five months. Happiness occurs.
This blog, informative (and hopefully at times amusing), is meant as a diary for me to remember lots of bits about my season in the Alps, that I might otherwise forget. Either through a Mutzig fuelled memory loss episode or just through the passing of time. So this part might be a bit random, but there's things I need to just note down.
Your hair smells of ... shampoo.
Dutty. "I'm STUCK!!!!" (from inside a duvet cover).
Alright there pal (said in a Scottish accent).
Allan and Lynn.
Basra and Berger-al-Arab.
Dirty Du Bois.
We can just hug it out.
Pineapple yoghurt swirls in the tomato and lentil soup.
Forgetting part of the main course and bringing it out halfway through dinner and having the balls to announce it as "and now for the best bit of your main meal".
Scaring people in boiler rooms.
Beer on the window sill.
Drinking wine out of coffee mugs.
Look at the elbow and the high five will follow.
Need any washing doing? (at 2:30AM)
D-12-Sprint
I'm sure that's not terribly amusing to those who have no idea what I'm chatting about, sorry.
Day off tomorrow. WOW!! Finally I'm heading out on the mountain. It's been snowing like mental and despite everyone else having been out, I've been good, looked after myself (I have a cold, don't want it to settle on my chest and then be out of action for weeks). So tomorrow is the day, there's meant to be blue skies and sunshine and I will finally get to ride my new set up. Yikes. How exciting!!!!!!
Off to cook for the little ones now, then the big ones, then beer and then riding some fluffy powder in the morning. Five months you say? Hmmm. Don't know if that's going to be enough?
It's not all super easy though, it's bloody hard work chalet hosting. I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I don't think I was prepared for how exhausted you get after service. It just drains you and the thing is, when you're exhausted and thinking you could sleep for an age, the realisation comes that this is your life for the next five months. Then you get a text from someone in another chalet making mountain/beer plans for later and suddenly you remember how amazingly awesome it is that this is your life for the next five months. Happiness occurs.
This blog, informative (and hopefully at times amusing), is meant as a diary for me to remember lots of bits about my season in the Alps, that I might otherwise forget. Either through a Mutzig fuelled memory loss episode or just through the passing of time. So this part might be a bit random, but there's things I need to just note down.
Your hair smells of ... shampoo.
Dutty. "I'm STUCK!!!!" (from inside a duvet cover).
Alright there pal (said in a Scottish accent).
Allan and Lynn.
Basra and Berger-al-Arab.
Dirty Du Bois.
We can just hug it out.
Pineapple yoghurt swirls in the tomato and lentil soup.
Forgetting part of the main course and bringing it out halfway through dinner and having the balls to announce it as "and now for the best bit of your main meal".
Scaring people in boiler rooms.
Beer on the window sill.
Drinking wine out of coffee mugs.
Look at the elbow and the high five will follow.
Need any washing doing? (at 2:30AM)
D-12-Sprint
I'm sure that's not terribly amusing to those who have no idea what I'm chatting about, sorry.
Day off tomorrow. WOW!! Finally I'm heading out on the mountain. It's been snowing like mental and despite everyone else having been out, I've been good, looked after myself (I have a cold, don't want it to settle on my chest and then be out of action for weeks). So tomorrow is the day, there's meant to be blue skies and sunshine and I will finally get to ride my new set up. Yikes. How exciting!!!!!!
Off to cook for the little ones now, then the big ones, then beer and then riding some fluffy powder in the morning. Five months you say? Hmmm. Don't know if that's going to be enough?
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